June 8, 2024
Gentlemen.
When I was a child back in the 1970’s, when Rick Powell could still turn heads, there was an action figure named Big Jim. Unlike the warmonger GI Joe, Big Jim was a rugged outdoorsman whose claim to fame was his “Sports Camper”. I even remember the jingle on the commercials, “Have you got all the gear, Big Jim is here, Sports Camper!” I could never have a Sports Camper at Christmas or my birthday because my parents were poor, and my grandparents only gave me Bibles. I say this as a preamble to this week’s TGIF winner.
Jim Little, Mike Dort, Mike Brownlow, and Roy Rozee hanging around in the seventies.
1. The name drawn in this week’s TGIF was Jim Little, whose quite big so should really be the aforementioned Big Jim. Unfortunately, Jim was in his sports camper and unable to sign-in and did not collect the $54.00 prize. Next week will be a carryover. Practitioner of Voodoo Math, Eldon Hubley was very impressed by the ability of the members to balance the kitty despite the biggest moron in the Club trying to sabotage the draw with five entries of $0.40.
2. Tonight is Lobsternight at the Club. The bar will be manned at 4:30ish, but food will start being served around 6:00 pm. A big thanks goes out to Fred Dobson and the rest of the gang for all their hard work.
It's Lobsterfest Tonight!
3. The next big event at the Club will be Ladies Night on Saturday, June 22nd. This event has been paid for by your dues and you and your spouse, partner, or significant other are welcome to attend this annual event. There will be a choice of salmon or beef, but when you sign up, you must choose your “poisson”…or beef. Tickets will be issued, and the Club Warden will be there to ensure compliance.
4. On Monday, July 8th, the Club will be holding its annual golf tournament at The Grandview Golf and Country Club. The cost has yet to be finalized, but it will be significantly higher than it was in 1956. There is a sign-up sheet at the top of the stairs leading to the Members Lounge and Jack will eventually have all the details.
Don Ellis reacts to his partner's four-putt.
5. The dock project is complete and a huge thank you goes out to all those that volunteered their time to make it happen. John Hilchey was the project manager who made things go smoothly while Gus Claveau, Sean Clancey, Jim Schreuer, Jeff Conrad, Kim Conrad, and Dr. Chester Wyman provided all the muscle. In total, 235 boards, 3000 screws, and many man hours were invested in this project. It’s interesting, three years ago we dealt with ducks, last year we dealt with decks, and this year we dealt with docks. I wonder what we’ll deal with next year. How much is 3000 screws? Well, a couple married for fifty years…I won’t go any further on this…yes, I will - five times a month!
6. The Club scholarships were awarded this week, and two young people significantly smarter than the Owls members will be getting $1000.00 toward their post-secondary education. The recipient for Prince Andrew High School, ooops, Woodlawn High is Evan Rose, while the recipient for the far superior Dartmouth High School is Colin MacDonald. Congratulations to both.
7. Spotted Owls (at the cribbage games). It was great to see Guy Leblanc and Gene Mattatall spending their afternoon playing cribbage with the fellas.
8. Dave Mattatall recently returned from his housesitting duties in Bermuda. Let that sink in. Dave went to Bermuda to house sit a dog and three cats.
9. Fred Dobson, as is the case with past Presidents, has been charged with a criminal offense. In this case, cutting off the tags of a mattress. While this is generally a misdemeanour, the prosecution, led by our “Mane Man” Steve Piggott, has determined that this action was done to undermine the election of Gus Claveau, and thus has upgraded the crime to a felony. Fred has called this action a “witch hunt” and accused Steve Piggott of being crooked, wicked, and venomous.
The SWAT Team at a residence on Thistle Street last week.
10. Jack Leedham presented the Club’s annual audit at this month’s meeting. While most people responded with “You don’t know Jack” others welcomed his candid and honest approach. Jack stated he would rather be somewhere else. I get it. I’d much rather be drinking and partying that writing this drivel for Saturday morning.
11. It was great to see Dr. John MacDonald at yesterday’s TGIF. Imagine having a stroke and being back in the Club four days later? Mark Jollymore stubbed his toe and was gone for a year. And Ashley Merrick sent a message to the membership that he is on the mend after surgery last week. We wish both John and Ashley the best moving forward.
12. Tim Olive is offering three Owls Club polo-shirts that he stole from Joe Zareski for $25 each. They are extra large which, if you look at Tim, are way too small.
13. Natal Day is fast-approaching, and Gord Hayward is looking for volunteers to help with the parade. Specifically, he’ll need volunteers for the beginning of the parade on Novalea Drive and the end of the parade on Prince Albert Road.
14. “The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner.” Congratulations goes out to Tony Zareski who has become the third member of the Owls Club, after Sean Clancey and Chris Fourgnaud, to quality for the Boston Marathon. Hopefully the trend toward good diet and physical fitness does not extend to the rest of the Owls.
Gus Claevau étudie le Royaume des Chouettes.
Dr. Wyman warns President Gus of Club unrest.
Errors and Omissions
More sound spelling and grammar from the wordsmith again last week.
References
· Rick Powell is an honorary member of the Austenville Owls Club whose Burt Reynolds-like representation made him a 70’s sensation. And that mustache – amen!
· Bermuda is a country in the Mid-Atlantic Ocean that comprises one-third of the eponymous “Bermuda Triangle”, which, unidentified in our roundup two weeks ago, is a scalene triangle.
· “The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner” was a movie from 1962 starring a whole bunch of nobody’s that focussed on the plight of a young man…blah, blah, nobody cared then, and nobody cares now.
All for now.
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