Gentlemen.
The Olympics are almost done and we’re heading into the last two weeks of the traditional Nova Scotia summer which concludes on the Labour Day weekend when the kids go back to school, it’s dark at 7:00 at both dusk and dawn, and, if you wake up naked, both your nipples and Johnson are the same size. Yes, it may be hot and humid now, but in a month we’ll be complaining about the cold mornings, dewy grass, and excess spider webs. Give it two months and you’ll be wondering where you put the windshield scraper and fighting with your wife (partner) about who must go without a vehicle while the tires get changed. But hey, autumn is also a great time of year because it’s football season and the Club is having a big party to celebrate opening day. More on that later. Let’s get to the roundup.
Canada has now gone 12 days without getting caught cheating at the Olympics.
1) The name drawn in yesterday’s TGIF draw was Gary MacNeil who won a sweet carryover of $93.00. I was just about to call Gary a good-for-nothing little gnome with no morals, limited couth, and poor taste in beer. But then he left $40 on the bar of which I garnered 37.5% of to purchase more beer. So, I take back what I said about his taste in beer. The boys made a hash of the kitty, but the news was not all bad. Thirty-eight members signed-in, yet there was $78.00 in the kitty. Someone forgot to signed-in or forgot that they already paid. Typical of a Natal Day week.
Gary MacNeil takes the money and immediately thinks about a gift for Christine.
2) Speaking of Natal Day, the Club put on yet another great event. It all started with Gord Hayward’s traditional efficient running of the parade followed by a hugely successful day at the Club. There were many people to thank besides Gord, but kudos to Richard Barteaux for running the barbeque and all the other Club volunteers for a big day at the Club.
Gord Hayward relaxes with his friends after a successful Natal Day parade.
3) Birthday Boys. Tuesday, August 20th will be the monthly Birthday Boys party coinciding with the annual neighbourhood lawn party. Be sure to tell your friends and family to come to the Club for some hots and hams as well as some music from the Owls band featuring some of the best local musicians. It’s also Gerry Pring’s actual birthday and he plans to crash the party. There are 15 owls born in August, so we anticipate a big gathering. We may even remember Jim Little this year!
4) Nobody likes to be tailgated…not even a tailgater. None-the-less, the Club is going to have a big tailgate party on the first Sunday of the NFL season, September 8th. There will be games out on the lawn in the morning and the Red Zone playing on the big screen in the afternoon. If it’s a crappy day (like today) then we’ll move it all inside to the Lakeview Room. The cost is $10 per person, and everyone is encouraged to bring their friends and family. Kids under the age of 14 and people over the age of 106 can attend for free. And there’s going be a pig roasted just in time for the end of the early games.
The Red Zone shows all the games where scoring is imminent - like 2:30 am at the Palace.
5) Regarding items 3 and 4, an invitation has been sent to the members through the website where you can verify your attendance as well as pay for your tailgate party tickets. This is all part of using the new website capabilities moving forward. You can still sign up for the tailgate party at the member’s bar. The cut-off date to register for the event is August 23rd so that Chris Fourgnaud can procure the appropriately sized pig.
This guy may not be big enough for the party.
6) The monthly meeting on September 5th will coincide with the annual memorial service for Owls who have passed away over the years. This is most important day of the year as we pay tribute to them and the dress is suit (or sports coat) and tie. It’s also a great day for everyone to update their picture for the website.
7) 81st Airborne Division. The Club’s Practitioner of Voodoo Math Eldon Hubley will be skydiving next week, apparently to celebrate his 81st birthday which is actually happening today. We wish Eldon luck on that endeavor. On that note, I believe noted Club guitarist Russ Brannon turns 79 today.
I see why Eldon wants to go skydiving. This is his instructor!
8) He’s Off the List. Chi Chi Rodriguez, the eccentric golfer of Puerto Rican descent passed away this past Thursday. He was a big name in golf in the 1960’s and 1970’s and was even referenced in an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati.
9) The Three Steve’s. Though none of them have ever played beach volleyball, MacDonald, Ellis, and Piggott were very critical of the Canadian ladies’ silver medal performance at the Paris Olympics yesterday. We did agree, however, that their selection of attire was more Brazilian than their opponents.
Can you spot the two Brazilians?
10) Speaking of the Olympics, the biggest rivalry in sport, Canada vs South Africa, was once again taken by our boys who won the 4X100 men’s gold medal over silver medalists South Africa, much to the chagrin of Seymour Wood. In fairness, Canada has played South Africa three times in competitive rugby and have lost all three by a combined score of 137 to 25.
11) Health and Wellness. Dave Gibson and Ashley Merrick continue to be on the mend following some medical procedures while Butch Milne continues in the abyss of the “health care” system waiting for news of some heart repair. And Mike Currie has the misfortune of acquiring COVID while on vacation in Scotland but he’s also back on the mend.
Errors and Omissions.
Note the great use of homophones in item 8 – past and passed.
References:
· A Johnson is another name for a man’s biological parts between their upper thighs and bellybutton.
· Gary MacNeil drinks Schooner. He likes it so much that he named his dog Schooner and I believe it’s both his daughters’ middle name.
· “Nobody likes to be tailgated, not even a tailgater” was a commercial in the late 1970’s emphasizing the dangers of following too close to the vehicle in front of yours.
· Astute roundup readers will note the reference to playing “up to par” by Les Nessman was used by the scribe in an earlier essay prior to the annual Owls golf tournament.
· Scotland is a country that is part of the United Kingdom though their athletes compete for Great Britain at the Olympics.
All for now
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